In need of support...

BubbaMama10

Member
Joined
Jan 10, 2020
Messages
9
Good morning! I am homeschooling my 9 year old (only child, she is youngest child. The rest are adults and out of the house.) daughter. She has always been homeschooled. We go to church groups and another Christian Girls Group. I am not handling her mood swings well. She is at 'that age'... I feel like I am failing her because I am so frustrated with her attitude lately. I know that she is entering a time in her life when changes happen and that it is going to be a continuing theme. Does anyone have a book recommendation or something? Some advice? My husband really tries but is not much help in this case. He gets home from work and thinks that maybe she is just tired from a long day. I am tired of arguing with her. I need an attitude adjustment as bad as she does. But more than that, I feel that we both need to get on the same page and really understand what is going on. Thank you for all your help and prayers!!
 

JohnNotgrass

Notgrass History
Joined
Nov 25, 2019
Messages
38
Location
St. Louis, Missouri
We have two boys. They are 7 and 4. Parenting is a lot harder than I imagined it would be before I had kids!

My wife and I have appreciated the ideas at Aha! Parenting. The author, Laura Markham, talks a lot about how we as parents set the tone for our relationship with our children. Maybe you will find it helpful, too.


Hang in there. You can do it!
 

deliberatemom

Active member
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
32
Good morning! I am homeschooling my 9 year old (only child, she is youngest child. The rest are adults and out of the house.) daughter. She has always been homeschooled. We go to church groups and another Christian Girls Group. I am not handling her mood swings well. She is at 'that age'... I feel like I am failing her because I am so frustrated with her attitude lately. I know that she is entering a time in her life when changes happen and that it is going to be a continuing theme. Does anyone have a book recommendation or something? Some advice? My husband really tries but is not much help in this case. He gets home from work and thinks that maybe she is just tired from a long day. I am tired of arguing with her. I need an attitude adjustment as bad as she does. But more than that, I feel that we both need to get on the same page and really understand what is going on. Thank you for all your help and prayers!!
I hear you! And I've been running into this lately. That attitude can be overwhelming. I took some great advice from @EightGreatKids and ran with it... I drew closer to her (as much as I really didn't want to). I spent more one on one time with her and have invited her out to a couple hot chocolate "dates". I think it's made a huge difference in her attitude. She still has her difficult moments but it's a definite improvement!

Praying for you and her. <3
 

EightGreatKids

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 12, 2019
Messages
57
I am not handling her mood swings well. She is at 'that age'... I feel like I am failing her because I am so frustrated with her attitude lately. I know that she is entering a time in her life when changes happen and that it is going to be a continuing theme. Does anyone have a book recommendation or something? Some advice? My husband really tries but is not much help in this case. He gets home from work and thinks that maybe she is just tired from a long day. I am tired of arguing with her. I need an attitude adjustment as bad as she does. But more than that, I feel that we both need to get on the same page and really understand what is going on. Thank you for all your help and prayers!!
I've been through this and it's so hard! I'm sorry!

First, I sit my daughters down and explain to them the biological aspect -- the hormones -- behind the mood swings. I want them to know that they aren't crazy for feeling crazy; that it's completely natural and normal. I explain to them that I have my own times of the month and that I hope they'll forgive me my craziness just like I'm going to forgive them their craziness.

Knowing that it's normal and expecting it helps our sweet girls to give themselves grace.

Second, we chart our mestrual cycles on the calendar, so we know when to expect the PMS and can plan ahead to curl up in the corner with a good book and leave others alone. (My 3 oldest daughters and I are on the same cycle and it could be constant cat fights, but it's not because we anticipate it)

Third, I know that often, when I behave badly or mistreat people, it stems from feeling unloved or unvalued myself. So I intentionally and fiercely work to make sure my daughters don't feel that way. Extra hugs, a holy ton of listening, ice cream dates after the rest of the kids are in bed, whatever it takes. This works miracles. Sometimes I don't want to listen to an hour of tear-filled, mean girl stories. Okay, I pretty much never want to. I have things to do! But I listen anyway, and I ask questions so they know I care, and I hug them even when it feels like I'm hugging a porcupine.

In my opinion, making a child (and these tweens are still just children, even when they look grown up) feel loved and valued will make the biggest the biggest, most miraculous changes to their behavior. So time for them and phyisical contact with them (figure out her love language) is paramount.

Good luck! Hugs!
 

BubbaMama10

Member
Joined
Jan 10, 2020
Messages
9
Everyone! Thank you!! I know that I am NOT alone in this battle and that others have been there and are currently in it with me! It helps just to know that. Wonderful suggestions from all and you are all truly appreciated!!
 

Mae

Member
Joined
Jan 5, 2020
Messages
8
Location
Idaho
Hello, I too have had and will have again this experience! In addition to the great advice above I would like to add some thoughts. Our liver is the processor of our hormones and our liver is overburdened with the toxicity to which most of us are exposed. Consider supporting the liver with milk thistle, NAC, selenium, dandelion, burdock and other herbs. Rosemary Gladstar and Sharol Tilgner both have great herbals for reference. If you are inclined to homeopathy, search "Joette Calabrese" and 'hormones' or 'PMS' or women's issues. I have found that daily tea of red raspberry, nettles, alfalfa, dandelion, and burdock is very helpful. I am only reporting what has helped us, always consult your health care provider.
 
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